Grief is our path to healing

Grief is our natural and normal reaction to a loss. Throughout life we have losses; the way to heal our bodies and souls from each loss is to grieve, to allow the pain and hurt we feel. Some of us can share our grief with others and some of us are very private about our grief. Whether we are private or open about our grief, we must grieve in order to come to wholeness again without our loved one.

Grief is very individual—we each grieve differently. No two of us will grieve the same. However, there are feelings of grief that are common for grieving persons. When we know what these normal reactions to grief are, then it is not so frightening when we have these reactions, these feelings. Here are a few of these normal grief reactions:

  • Have an empty feeling in our stomach and either lose our appetite or overeat to fill the emptiness
  • Feel guilty over things done and said, as well as over things not done and said
  • Feel as though the loss is not real, that it did not actually happen
  • Wander aimlessly, forget things, unable to complete things, unable to concentrate
  • Have difficulty sleeping and have lots of dreams, or sleep all of the time and have no energy to get up and get dressed
  • Feel guilty or angry over things that did or did not happen in the relationship with our loved one
  • Feel mood changes over the slightest things
  • Cry at unexpected times and feel out of control of emotions
  • Feel anger at God for allowing this to happen
  • Feel a sense of relief that this is finally over
  • Sense our loved one’s presence, find ourselves expecting the person to walk in the door at the usual time, hear our loved one’s voice and/or see his or her face
  • Feel anger at our loved one for leaving us
  • Fear the future and what it holds

 The death of a person close to us affects us spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially. Through our grieving we are able to redefine who we are, heal ourselves, and honor the memories of our love that will sustain us into our future.

By Elaine Tiller

(Call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week)

I want to make a difference for those living with serious illness & loss in Montgomery County.

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